Jay's Journey Back

My Forever Place Online

TGIF I Think But Something Is Off

August22

I woke up today feeling as if something was ‘off’. I usually have a pretty good sixth sense, so I know something somewhere in my own universe isn’t the same today as it was yesterday.  Because of that I have had an aching in my gut and a lump in my throat all day and night.

Change can be a good thing but not always. I have seen so much change this past year I can’t even begin to think about it sometimes.

Hope your week has been wonderful. I’ll see you over the weekend.

Remember to Laugh and Love as much as possible. One day you may find that laughter fades and love is lost.

Share

Hello World Remember Me?

August2

When I started this project in the Spring of 2011 I thought I’d use it as a weight loss journal. I had no idea that life would happen as I was making plans. Funny, how that seems to happen more often than not. So, here I am at it again – not looking for anyone to cure me, not pointing fingers at anyone, not going to make another excuse for where I am today. I am responsible for my life. I made all the choices that have gotten me to this point. I like to think that all my wrong turns have led me to the right place.

Little by little I have come to realize that as much as I have molded myself into who I am today that I have also allowed my surroundings and situations win out more times than not. If I hit a hurdle, instead of jumping over it, I let it control my next move and those choices have all come with consequences both good and bad. There were times I blocked my own happiness simply because I didn’t feel I was worth it. But it has taken me all of the last 10 years to break down the walls of self doubt – I am worth it. I deserve the happiness I want to experience.

I have been surrounded by countless friends and selfless family all of my life. Some might say I am the life of the party – I never saw myself that way. I always felt as if I was just ‘there’  but I have realized that I was more than just ‘there’ for everyone I have ever met. I have made an impact on more souls and affected the daily lives of  the faces that have filled my life to this point. That includes those friends that I would be nothing without – those that I’ll never see again – and those that think less than kindly of me. I have come to understand I am more important than I ever imagined. Some people call it being humble but in all honesty in my case – it was anything but. I just had never thought of myself as that big a deal. I was me, Jay, and what you see is what you get. ALWAYS!

I have been known to wear my heart on my sleeve. I think it helps me pick at the scars that have been left behind and allows me to remember just how precious a heart can be. Seems I spent so many years chasing love only to find it and stand and stare at its door. In the past year I have loved and lived more than I had in the previous 5 years. I also have hurt more than I thought was capable. Even after my divorce I didn’t have the depth of pain I felt when a true love is torn from your life because of no fault of each other.  It may not have turned out the way I’d of hoped but again I feel that the roads lead us to where we are supposed to be.

Just always remember sometimes you have to lose to win – give up up all you hope for and allow it to come back to you – then its truly yours

There is no time like the present. I am going to make each day the best I can..every day I can….”…..free to face the life that’s ahead of me”

Share
« Older Entries
Writer Jay Long

Promote Your Page Too